Little Miss Judgeypants

A big thing that holds us back from being who we really want to be is: judgement.

We worry about being seen a certain way by others, we worry about how we see ourselves, we worry about how we see others.

I see it all the time with my clients. We don't do or say the thing, then we beat ourselves up for being affected by other people's opinions and thoughts.

Then we get mad at the other person for being so judgemental, only to see that we are judging them for being judgemental!

Then we beat ourselves up for being Little Miss Judgeypants.

SO EXHAUSTING!

It's a shitty cycle to be trapped in, agreed?!!

What if we just didn't worry about being judged anymore?

What if we didn't beat ourselves up for judging others anymore?

What if we saw our own self judgement as just a part of being a human being, not something to hold us back or make us feel horrible?

When we recognize that judgement exists as a neutral phenomenon, we can begin to shift our perspective and reduce the emotional weight we place on it.

Can you imagine how liberating that would feel?!

IT CAN HAPPEN!

Judgement is a part of our human experience.

It is not inherently good or bad; rather, it is a natural response to our environment and the people around us.

We all do it, that's just the way of it!

And it is for good reason.

Here is why is exists within us:

• Survival Instinct: Historically, judgement has helped humans assess danger and make quick decisions for survival.

• Social Navigation: In social settings, judgement aids in understanding social norms and expectations, allowing us to navigate complex interactions.

• Self-Reflection: When we judge others, it often reflects our own values and beliefs, providing insight into our personal growth.

  
  

Doesn't knowing this make it all feel less yucky?

Especially the self-reflection part!

We can use our judgements for our own self-development.

Once we get why we all do it, we can then start the reframe.

Just imagine your world being one where judgment is viewed as a neutral occurrence.

Imagine judgement being devoid of the emotional baggage we often associate with it.

This perspective allows us to:

• Accept Our Humanity: Recognizing that everyone judges means acknowledging our shared human experience. It’s okay to have opinions and thoughts about others.

• Reduce Shame: When we stop feeling guilty about our judgements, we can approach them with curiosity rather than feeling super shitty about them.

• Focus on Intent: Instead of internalizing judgements, we can focus on our intentions and actions, fostering a more compassionate outlook. Focus on who we really want to be, and actually are.

  
  

Letting Go of External Judgement

When we accept that judgement is a natural part of life, we lessen the impact of others’ judgements on us.

They are just being human as well.

We can get on with being ourselves, feeling confident and secure in who we are.

Less worried about how we are being perceived because we know we're going to be perceived in some way regardless of what we say or do, so we may as well be true to who we are!

BE TRUE TO YOU.

Worrying about being judged feels protective and productive, but it is holds us back from what we really want: connection, acceptance, friendship, autonomy, self-respect, self-trust...self-love and love for others.

Here are some ways to achieve this:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that everyone judges, and it does not define your worth.

2. Shift Your Focus: Concentrate on your values and goals rather than the opinions of others.

3. Engage in Open Dialogue: Instead of fearing judgement, invite conversations that promote understanding and empathy. This takes courage, so don't judge yourself if you aren't there yet! (see what I did there).

   
   
   
   

Start with number one. Keep remembering that the act of judgement doesn't mean yours or their moral compass is off. We are all assessing.

I like to reframe with thoughts like:

"Oh right. I'm just assessing my environment and who's in it. That makes sense."

Or, "Oh right, they are doing that assessing thing - no problem!"

In a world where judgement is seen as a neutral part of life, we can cultivate a more compassionate and understanding environment for ourselves and others.

And holy shitballs do we need more humans doing that right now!

By reframing our views on judgement, we can embrace our humanity, reduce shame, and foster deeper connections.

Remember, judgement just is—it doesn’t have to weigh us down.

Nor do we need to try and shut it down. You simply can't, and that's okay :)

You can find peace with judgement quicker and quicker, but it will not go away.

Meaning, the space will lessen between your thoughts of:

"Wow, I can't believe she's doing that, I would never do that. What is she thinking, she looks ridiculous"

and:

"Oh right, I'm assessing right now - she isn't less of a valuable person for being her, and I'm not less of a valuable person for thinking those initial thoughts of her. Okay!"

And that just feels so much better.

Ultimately, we all want to feel better about who we are and get that much closer to our truth: we are loving, compassionate, kind, accepting beings.

Bringing these lovely ways of being in brings a lightness and peace to our lives.

Go forth and judge, remember that you are just being human. Same as all of us out here.

It's all okay xo