Getting used to winter takes time, right?!
We need to adjust in all kinds of ways, and everything takes just that much longer.
We have to warm up the car, put on coats/boots/scarf/hat/mitts, shovel/put down ice melting stuff, scrape the car, drive or walk more carefully.
Thing feel more cluttered, yes?
It's the same mentally and emotionally.
It feels like there is so much more to do and think about - especially in the holiday season.
It's easy to feel like you just can't seem to get your shit together!
Like you are "out of sorts".
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
"Why can't I get my shit together?"
"I just want to curl up and stay home!"
These thoughts always lead to feeling that something is wrong with you.
However, when thoughts like this (or similar) come to you, know this:
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
It's that:
1) You are in an adjustment period (fall to winter is the toughest one)
2) You are entering HIBERNATION season, and yet we can't hibernate.
We are fighting with the natural cycle of the natural world.
Let's not forget that we are not robots! We are a part of nature - like the trees and animals out there getting ready to, or already slumbering.
The reality is that we can't exactly just stop and slumber.
So, your brain will start to freak out because our actions are messing with the natural order of things. It will function on high alert and try to get your attention with something along the lines of:
"Panic a bit, woman! You're supposed to be hibernating and you're not, what the hell is this?"
Your brain is hard-wired to protect you at all costs.
It wants you to be safe: avoid pain, seek pleasure, conserve energy.
Especially in the more challenging season of winter!
These thoughts of "something is wrong", that ultimately stress us out, are your brain's concerned attempt to stop you from taking any action.
They do, right?
If I'm filled with overwhelming, dramatic thoughts all I want to do is hide under a blanket and watch tv.
Hibernate.
So my brain is giving me the tools to do what I am naturally supposed to do: hibernate!
It's doing it brilliantly with thoughts that have proven to work before.
For sure the thought: "Why can't I get my shit together, there's something wrong with me" has stopped me from taking action in the past, and my brain took note!
What to do, and thoughts to think, to feel more calm and in control:
1) Remind yourself that these stress-creating thoughts are your brain trying to slow you down.
It is doing so out of love and concern, by the way!
It isn't intentionally trying to stress you out, quite the opposite actually. It is trying to de-stress you in a wrong, but well intentioned way.
You aren't doing anything wrong, you are a-okay and capable, no matter what your brain is trying to tell you.
I like to say this to myself:
"Oh, I know what this is. This is my brain freaking out a bit because I'm keeping on with "busy" when a more natural thing to do would be to lie down!
Thanks for the concern and care, brain. However, I've got shit to do and I know I'll be okay to do it.
I promise to stretch often, I'll take deep breaths and release tension as much as I can. I promise to go to bed earlier during the winter and I'll take my magnesium EVERY day.
I'll remember to keep checking in with you to calm your shit down, brain. I've got this!"
Jot down some of your personal "good for you" habits and make a promise to yourself (and your brain!) that you'll do your best to take care of you during these more challenging months of this season.
That might include choosing a 1 or 2 hour window one day a week where you are completely "offline" from your outside responsibilities.
Give yourself permission to watch some mindless tv, nap, read, scroll aimlessly, clean, bake, work on a puzzle, exercise....you choose what would make you feel good in that moment.
Loosen the grip on the thought that in order to recharge you need a 2 week (1 month? 1 year?!) vacation. This will serve you very well.
Instead, choose to believe that a short window of time, just once a week, will do you wonders! Because it will.
"Okay, Sarah. What do you need at this time? Let's see what we can give you right now. You're allowed some time to yourself, please let yourself take it."
Now, sometimes I just can't and it feels more stressful to stop than to keep going.
When that's the case, I change it to a shorter window.
Even 20 minutes may be enough.
I do this because practice is the key.
My nervous system needs time to adjust to the idea of letting go.
It needs practice and patience and frequency.
So, if the initial time you are giving yourself isn't working, start with a shorter time frame.
By the way, the "feel good" thing that you choose can change each time.
I don't always do a puzzle or read. I make sure to ask myself what would feel good.
Sometimes it's hopping in the car and going to Staples.
(Is that weird? I just love Staples!)
2) TAKE NOTE EVERY DAY OF HOW FUCKING AWESOME YOU REALLY ARE.
Remember that you do a shitton of things every day.
It's funny how we don't account for how remarkable we are each day.
That we have the will power and fortitude to keep fucking going, still wanting the best of things to turn out is phenomenal!
"Wow Sarah, you did so much today - way to go!
I love that you thought about your mum and dad so much.
I love that you took Herschel for a walk and were super patient with all the sniff stops he took (oh my god there are soooo many).
I know you wanted to work on that webinar you are putting together today and didn't have the mental energy to do so. That's okay! You did so much.
I think it's great that you chose to nap instead. Clearly you needed some rest.
No need to feel badly about that, you are right on track.
I know that you feel that you dropped the ball there, and I know that you'll pick it up tomorrow. I totally believe in you!"
Talk to yourself as you would to a loving friend or family member.
It's bizarre that when we give ourselves compassion and understanding, we often make it into giving ourselves excuses or "passes" for bad behaviour. What?!
Like if we're kind to ourselves we're going to succumb to laziness or something.
We'll just give up and do nothing.
THIS IS SO NOT THE CASE. I promise you.
If you are more kind to YOU, you will accomplish so much more of what you want.
If a manager berates an employee rather than lift them up....you know the result.
It's the same for you.
What kind of manager to you want to be for you?
3) Don't forget that you are a part of the natural world.
You have your own unique rhythm, and also follow the rhythm of the planet...and therefore the cosmos.
There is energy, and shifts, and weird cosmic shit that we will never understand going on out there.
I will often tell myself that there are universal forces and vibrations that are having an effect on me.
I don't need to see or figure them out, I just need to realize that they influence my personal energy levels: Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.
Knowing that I am a part of such a cool, magical thing makes me feel connected and calmer.
"Huh. Maybe it's just a shift in the cosmos today."
That is a calming thought for me as it takes some pressure off my "performance".
The reality is that taking shit off your plate isn't always within your control.
What is in your control is your thoughts.
This isn't replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
This is intentional thinking.
Choose to think certain thoughts. Let them in.
Let the less useful thoughts exist as well, just lessen their power/grip a bit.
Never forget that you can be (are) the manager of your mind.
This is the key to feeling empowered and involved in your unique, incredible life.
The winter season is a fantastic one to practice all of this.
I have grown to adore winter for this very reason.
Witness yourself sending patience and understanding to your own self, and lifting you up when you need it.
You've ALWAYS got you.
I hope this helps!
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